Helping Kids Navigate Back-to-School Anxiety: A Guide for Families Worldwide

As summer fades and families settle back into the school year, the season of transition inevitably brings a mix of excitement and anxiety—especially for children. While the thought of seeing friends again and jumping into new subjects can be thrilling, it's also normal for children to feel a tinge of apprehension about returning to classrooms. In our fast-paced, ever-evolving world, understanding and easing back-to-school worries is something every parent and caregiver can relate to.

Dr. Lili Ly, a clinical psychologist with extensive experience working with children, sheds some light on these anxieties. According to her, a child’s anxiety often takes shape in ways that can be challenging for them to articulate. 

Imagine your six-year-old, who just a few weeks ago was happily splashing at the pool, now clinging a bit more tightly as you walk to the bus stop. Or your teen, typically outgoing and energetic, appearing unusually quiet over breakfast.

These subtle shifts are often the tip of an iceberg—an indication of the deep emotions swirling underneath. But as Dr. Ly reassures, there are ways to navigate this path gently, with routines and open communication as our guiding stars.

For younger children, anxiety can show up through behavior rather than words. “Avoidant behavior,” as Dr. Ly describes it, is a common sign. Perhaps they resist getting dressed or seem hesitant to leave the house in the morning. Younger kids, she explains, are still learning to express their emotions and might not yet have the words to say, “I’m feeling nervous about school.” So, parents can meet them halfway by observing, noticing when these changes happen, and then stepping in with gentle reassurance.

Then there are those inevitable goodbye routines. 

Dr. Ly recommends keeping farewells short and sweet, offering a reassuring reminder that you’ll be there at the end of the day. For many children, knowing they’ll see their loved ones again after school provides a small but crucial dose of comfort in an unfamiliar setting. And for kids transitioning to secondary school—a monumental step—visiting the new school together can make a world of difference. Being able to envision the hallways, the classrooms, even the lunchroom, can take away some of the “unknowns” that so often trigger anxiety.

Routines, too, are an unspoken hero in soothing school-related nerves. 

Dr. Ly explains that predictability is a powerful antidote to uncertainty. By building routines in the days leading up to school, parents can create a foundation of normalcy. Perhaps it’s a simple morning ritual: breakfast, a quick conversation about the day ahead, and a warm hug before heading out the door. Visual planners can be especially helpful for younger children who might struggle with remembering tasks. Plus, creating one together can turn this task into a fun bonding activity—one that empowers them to take charge of their own day.

One parent, in particular, shared her experience with her young son, Ben. Every morning, Ben would cling to her hand, clearly torn between his love for school and the tug of unease that kept him rooted in place. She began introducing a quick, positive goodbye ritual—a short song they’d sing together. Knowing that he’d get to end his day with a familiar tune became an anchor for Ben, something he could hold onto through the day’s ups and downs. Gradually, he started looking forward to these small moments, finding excitement in school as his mother lovingly kept the goodbye light and joyful.

Listening and being open to communication are also key, especially as the school year progresses. 

Dr. Ly suggests finding organic moments to check in, like during family dinners or bedtime, so kids feel comfortable opening up without feeling pressured. It’s in these gentle exchanges that children feel truly heard. One parent shared how she created a nightly ritual with her daughter, Ellie. Each night, they would sit together and exchange one “high” and one “low” of their day. Not only did it strengthen their bond, but it became a safe space where Ellie could share her struggles without judgment. Through this habit, Ellie gradually began to feel more confident facing the school day, knowing that her mother would always be there to listen at the end of it.

Older children, meanwhile, often display signs of anxiety that can sometimes be mistaken for typical teenage behavior: nervousness, changes in appetite, or even agitation. But, as Dr. Ly explains, these are clues that they’re working through a complex mix of emotions. For these children, open-ended conversations are incredibly helpful. Inviting them to share what they’re looking forward to and what might feel challenging helps ease the tension, giving them a chance to sort through their own feelings without feeling dismissed or patronized.

In a heartwarming example, one parent shared how her son, Liam, initially dreaded going back to high school. He expressed his worries about new teachers and tougher subjects, and instead of diving straight into “fixing” his worries, his mother listened. She shared stories of her own school days, her own uncertainties, and how she overcame them. Slowly, Liam began to see that his mom had once felt just like him—and that gave him comfort. The weight of his anxiety started to lighten, knowing he wasn’t facing it alone.

One final, gentle reminder Dr. Ly shares is to be kind to ourselves as parents. 

Our own anxiety can subtly influence our children’s emotions. If we’re calm, grounded, and positive about the upcoming school year, we pass on that energy. And if we’re feeling overwhelmed, leaning on our support networks—friends, family, or even the school staff—can help us stay centered. By nurturing our own peace of mind, we create a more relaxed environment for our children to find theirs.

The transition back to school is a journey for both parents and children. With small rituals, open communication, and shared understanding, we can help ease this transition. After all, it’s a shared experience, filled with opportunities for growth, resilience, and new beginnings. And perhaps, as parents, we too might find a bit of ourselves rediscovered as we guide our children on their journey forward.